Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think your dad took our porno
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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