he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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