I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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