He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
