...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
