nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
