You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i barfeds in our rink
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
