i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
