He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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