Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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