I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
