We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
