Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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