my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize