Actions speak louder than pants.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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