whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
