I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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