why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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