man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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