remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
