Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
