Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
