I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
