Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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