the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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