$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
