using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
