I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
