You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
