Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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