Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
