Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
