Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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