My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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