at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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