Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
