uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
