I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize