filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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