This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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