Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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