he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There r osticjed everywhere
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
