idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
