I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
