Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize