she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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