I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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