Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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