piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
