my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
