Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
