Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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