Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
