That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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