But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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