just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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