My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
